Yesterday, I experienced something I hadn’t in a while: a trigger. It caught me off guard, and not in a dramatic, movie-scene way. It was quiet and sneaky, and I didn’t even realize it was happening until I was in the thick of it.

Over the past few days, I’d been feeling a bit “off.” Tired, cranky, low energy. I chalked it up to recovering from the flu and figured my body just needed some extra time. But as it turns out, what I was feeling wasn’t just physical; it was emotional. It was a trigger, manifesting in subtle ways.

The thing is, I’ve done a lot of work around my triggers. I know what most of them are. I usually know how to avoid them or at least manage them when they show up. But healing isn’t a straight line, and this experience reminded me of something really important: emotions don’t always show up in ways we expect. And when they do come knocking, having coping tools in place makes a huge difference.

Luckily, yesterday was also a therapy day (small win!). I had space to unpack everything in a safe, supportive environment. Being able to talk it through helped me make sense of what led up to the trigger and, more importantly, how to handle similar moments going forward.

So, what can actually cause a trigger?

The short answer? A lot of things. Triggers can be anything from a specific sound, smell, or image to certain times of the year that carry emotional weight. Sometimes they’re obvious. Sometimes they’re subtle. Often, they aren’t just one thing; they’re a mix of emotions and memories layered on top of each other.

For me? The trigger came from strong emotions. I’ve been feeling genuinely happy lately, like, really happy. I’ve been writing, sharing my story, and focusing on growth. But that happiness brought up something unexpected: a shame spiral. I started to doubt whether I even deserved to feel good. And from there, I slid into a wave of emotional dysregulation that left me feeling withdrawn, irritable, and disconnected from myself.

It was uncomfortable. But it wasn’t the end of the world.

Acceptance without resistance

In therapy, I worked on accepting where I was emotionally, without reacting, without trying to “fix” it right away. Just… sitting with it. Letting the feelings be what they were.

Here’s something I’ve learned: accepting your emotions doesn’t mean you have to like them. It just means you’re acknowledging they exist and that they’re valid. When I give myself space to feel, even the hard stuff, I give myself a chance to process it in a healthier way.

That kind of self-awareness helps me stay grounded. It keeps the trigger from turning into a full-blown spiral. And that, my friends, is progress.

Shame spirals are real, and so is self-compassion.

If you’ve ever been caught in a shame spiral, you know how easy it is to stay there. I’ve lived in that space for long stretches of time in the past. The tricky part is breaking the cycle. For me, one of the best ways to do that is through self-compassion. Reminding myself that setbacks are normal, that healing isn’t linear, and that I do have the tools to regulate myself, it all helps bring me back to center.

We all belong here. None of us are broken. We’re just human beings doing the best we can with the experiences we’ve had. And sometimes those experiences come back to visit us, uninvited. But that doesn’t mean we’ve failed.

Healing is messy but beautiful.

This trigger reminded me of how far I’ve come. It was the first one I’ve had in quite a while, and I didn’t let it take over. That might seem like a small thing, but to me, it’s a huge win. It’s proof that the work I’ve been doing is paying off, even when it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

I’m allowed to be happy. Even if my CPTSD tries to convince me otherwise. Healing isn’t about never struggling again; it’s about learning how to ride the waves when they come. And each new day gives me another chance to focus on what’s good, what’s real, and what’s possible.

So yeah, I hit a wall yesterday. But I didn’t let it flatten me. And that? That’s worth celebrating.