There’s a hard truth many of us run into on the healing journey: not everyone actually wants to see you heal.

Now, I don’t mean that in a dramatic villain-twirling-mustache kind of way. It’s rarely that obvious or intentional. But healing makes people uncomfortable, especially those who aren’t ready to look inward. When we start changing, growing, and breaking old patterns, it can make others feel exposed or left behind. Sometimes, that stirs up jealousy or resentment, even if it’s unspoken.

But here’s the kicker: that doesn’t make them bad people. It just means that growth isn’t a group project unless everyone opts in. And not everyone is ready to.

Healing gives us a new perspective

When we start healing, we begin to see the world differently. We recognize red flags we used to overlook, pick up on behaviors that trigger us, and, most importantly, we stop accepting treatment that undermines our well-being. That shift can disrupt relationships that were built around our unhealed selves. And in some cases, people who once felt central to our lives may start to feel… not as needed. That can be scary for them.

Here’s what I’ve learned: healing changes the dynamics. If someone liked you better when you were hurting, more dependent, or easier to control, your growth might challenge their sense of importance in your life. That doesn’t mean your progress is wrong. It just means you’ve outgrown a version of yourself that kept others comfortable.

And that’s okay.

Everyone has their own baggage

Healing gives us clarity. We start noticing how sights, sounds, and even smells can throw us into old emotional spaces. The tone of someone’s voice, a dismissive comment, or being talked down to. And these can all become triggers. When that happens, our best option is often to create space. Not out of spite, but out of self-preservation.

Because here’s the truth: protecting your peace sometimes means disappointing people. And you know what? That’s a price worth paying.

Those of us living with CPTSD are already doing a heavy lift every day. We’re constantly navigating the voice of the inner critic, battling feelings of unworthiness, and doing the work to rewire old survival patterns. We do not need to carry other people’s resistance to their own healing on top of that.

One of the trickiest parts of this journey is recognizing that while everyone should want to grow and heal, not everyone does. And some will project their avoidance onto you, offering advice that doesn’t fit, minimizing your experiences, or brushing off your boundaries. It’s frustrating. It can make you feel unseen or misunderstood. But that’s when you remind yourself: your journey is yours. What works for others may not work for you, and that’s perfectly valid.

Healing takes time

It’s layered. It’s nonlinear. And it requires one thing above all else: patience. Patience with ourselves. Patience with the process. And patience with the fact that not everyone around us is going to “get it.”

But some will.

There are people out there who do want to see you win. Who cheer your progress, no matter how small. Who respect your boundaries and recognize your unique struggles. Those are your people. Find them. Hold them close.

You deserve to be surrounded by folks who nourish your growth, not those who fear it.

So if you’ve been feeling discouraged because someone in your life isn’t showing up the way you hoped, remember: your healing isn’t meant to make others comfortable. It’s meant to set you free.

And you’re doing just fine.