There is a harsh reality that we face on our healing journey and that is that not everyone actually wants you to heal. Be it consciously or not, when we work on our healing it makes others look inward at themselves and often at times, they don’t or are not ready for change. This can lead to feelings of jealousy or resentment, as they may feel threatened by our progress.
It doesn’t mean they are bad people. It simply means that it is important to surround ourselves with those who support our journey and encourage growth, rather than hinder it.
In some instances, people who we thought were on our team actually preferred us in our unhealed stage because during that stage we may have relied on them more and now they feel threatened that they aren’t needed or as important to us. Which isn’t true, but it can cause rifts in our relationships.
Healing gives us a new perspective
As we heal, we tend to see things more clearly, and we notice the oddities and red flags that were once blind to us. We can spot our triggers far more clearly and pick up on the actions of others that can and will set them off. We also are no longer prepared to accept being treated in ways that may in fact result in a trigger.
Triggers manifest in many ways. Sights, sounds, smells. How someone treats you or speaks to you in an undermining and berating way. These triggers can evoke powerful emotional responses, often transporting us back to moments of pain or insecurity. So, we do our best to prevent them from occurring. If that means taking space, then that’s what we have to do.
Being aware allows us to set boundaries that protect our well-being. By prioritizing our mental health, we cultivate healthier relationships and create spaces where we can thrive without fear of being undermined or dismissed.
Everyone has their own baggage
The voice of our inner critic and the unworthiness feelings that cPTSD throws at us on a daily basis are plenty for us to deal with. We don’t need to navigate through other people’s expectations and judgements as well. Especially when they are refusing to work on their own issues.
It should be a given that each of us want to be better versions of ourselves and that means working on our own issues, constantly. But, what also is transparent is how common it is that people who just don’t get it, and give you advice that works for them but isn’t going to work for you.
This can lead to frustration as we try to navigate our healing journeys, often feeling misunderstood or misdirected. It’s essential to remember that self-improvement is personal to ourselves, and what resonates with one person may not resonate with another.
It’s vital to remind ourselves that we know we are going to let people down. That’s a given. But we cannot, and we shouldn’t allow others lack of their own progress to interfere with our own.
Those of us with cPTSD are sensitive to encouragement, and we are sensitive to discouragement. We can be quite the paradox. We developed cPTSD over a long period of time, so it will take time to recover from it. It takes patience, understanding, and compassion. Because our healing journey is inherently reliant on the presence of patience, understanding, and compassion from those around us. The importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals cannot be overstated. We need supportive people in our lives who recognize our unique struggles and celebrate our progress, no matter how small.