The Narrator in Your Own Meltdown Do you ever catch yourself mid-meltdown, calmly narrating your own emotional chaos like a nature documentary? “Here we observe the adult survivor in his natural habitat, spiraling over the way a text message is worded…” That’s the kind of self-awareness I’m talking about, the kind that sounds evolved but […]
Childhood Sexual Abuse CPTSD CPTSD Recovery Emotional Awareness Healing Journey Mental Health Personal Growth Self-Acceptance Therapy & Healing Trauma Recovery
Why CPTSD Makes Failure Feel Safer
Setting Myself Up To Fail When I first started therapy and learned about my CPTSD, I did one thing over and over: I set myself up to fail. My brain was on a mission to prove its own negativity right. Weirdly, failure felt safer; if it was coming anyway, at least I was in control. […]
CPTSD CPTSD Recovery Emotional Awareness Healing Journey Mental Health Self-Awareness Therapy & Healing
Breaking Free from Emotional Control
Thinking Instead of Feeling: My Lifelong Habit There’s something I’ve always done, and frustratingly still do, even with all the tools I’ve learned in therapy: I tend to think my way through emotions instead of fully feeling them. Allow me to explain. I do feel things, yes. But I have a hard time actually releasing […]
Living With CPTSD: Why Depth Matters to Me
There’s something that keeps circling back in my life like a boomerang made of emotional clarity, and it hits me a little harder every year: I can’t do surface-level shit. Of any kind. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve smiled through small talk, nodded in the right places, and played the part like a […]
Healing Is Boring, and That’s the Point
I woke this morning and nothing was wrong. I had a good night’s sleep. It was the weekend and I had a chilled and relaxing few days to look forward to, but still, I was feeling like something was off. This has been happening a lot lately. And as unsettling as it is, there’s a […]
Alexithymia CPTSD Emotional Awareness Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Compassion
Learning To Live With Alexithymia
On my healing journey, I discover new things every day. And when I learned I had Alexithymia, after the initial feeling of “great, another thing to contend with” because of my trauma, it actually helped me better understand what it was I was experiencing, how to better navigate emotions, and importantly, that I wasn’t an […]