Thinking Instead of Feeling: My Lifelong Habit There’s something I’ve always done, and frustratingly still do, even with all the tools I’ve learned in therapy: I tend to think my way through emotions instead of fully feeling them. Allow me to explain. I do feel things, yes. But I have a hard time actually releasing […]
Living With CPTSD: Why Depth Matters to Me
There’s something that keeps circling back in my life like a boomerang made of emotional clarity, and it hits me a little harder every year: I can’t do surface-level shit. Of any kind. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve smiled through small talk, nodded in the right places, and played the part like a […]
Healing Is Boring, and That’s the Point
I woke this morning and nothing was wrong. I had a good night’s sleep. It was the weekend and I had a chilled and relaxing few days to look forward to, but still, I was feeling like something was off. This has been happening a lot lately. And as unsettling as it is, there’s a […]
Learning To Live With Alexithymia
On my healing journey, I discover new things every day. And when I learned I had Alexithymia, after the initial feeling of “great, another thing to contend with” because of my trauma, it actually helped me better understand what it was I was experiencing, how to better navigate emotions, and importantly, that I wasn’t an […]
Reaching the Anger Stage Of Grief
For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]
