(aka: Is This a Red Flag, or Am I Just Spiraling?)
When CPTSD turns relationships into a weather system, dysregulation is exactly when your internal forecast suddenly calls for a hurricane… all because of a missed text. Meanwhile, everyone else is just seeing a light drizzle, and you’re busy grabbing sandbags.
Suddenly, you’re frozen, flooded, or spiraling through every worst-case scenario like it’s your job.
Welcome to nervous system chaos: overprepared, overstimulated, and utterly exhausted.
What Is Dysregulation?
It’s when your body takes over the show. Your thinking brain gets hijacked by your survival brain. As a result, you’re no longer reacting to the present moment; instead, you’re responding to every past moment that felt remotely similar.
You might be dysregulated if you suddenly:
Can’t think clearly or make basic decisions
Feel panicked, even though “nothing’s happening”
Experience an urge to fix something right now or ghost everyone immediately
Start rehearsing or defending yourself in imaginary conversations
Feel numb, detached, or like you’re watching life through glass
Basically: Your nervous system has left the chat. Or taken over the mic entirely.
Real-Time Red Flags
(aka: Oh no, I’m spiraling again)
Here’s how dysregulation shows up in the wild:
Catastrophizing: “They haven’t replied in 2 hours. They obviously hate me. This is over. I’m undateable.”
Hyper-analyzing tone: “They said ‘ok.’ But was it passive ‘ok’ or genuinely ‘ok’?”
Over-functioning: You send a “just checking in!” text… then a meme… followed by an Instagram reel… then a weird apology you don’t even mean.
Disappearing completely: You delete the thread, the app, the entire relationship, in one dissociative swipe.
Dysregulation isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet freeze that feels like depression. Or a deep fatigue that shows up every time you try to connect.
The Trick Is Catching It
Most of us with CPTSD learned to push through or shut down. Pausing to notice dysregulation can feel unnatural, even dangerous. But here’s the reframe: catching it is the first rep toward healing.
Ask yourself:
What just happened?
What am I feeling in my body? (Tension, heat, emptiness…?)
Am I reacting to now or to a past pattern?
Do I need to respond right now, or can I sit with this?
And maybe most importantly:
Can I offer myself regulation before I demand resolution?
Quick Nervous System First Aid
You don’t need a 90-minute meditation or a forest retreat (though both sound excellent). Try:
Cold water on your wrists or face
Box breathing: inhale-4, hold-4, exhale-4, hold-4
Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear…
Call or text someone safe, and tell them you’re dysregulated
Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Exhale.
It’s not about fixing the thing.
It’s really about reminding your body you’re safe now, even if you weren’t then.
Final Thoughts (and a Deep Breath)
You won’t always catch dysregulation in real time. Sometimes it’s only obvious in the emotional hangover. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s awareness. It’s showing up for yourself one rain storm at a time.
The more you recognize when your nervous system’s freaking out, the better you can respond with compassion instead of shame.
And if you’re reading this while mid-spiral, rereading texts, and half-hiding under your weighted blanket, hey, I’ve been there. You’re not broken; you’re just wired for protection. And the fact that you’re learning to pause before reacting? That’s real progress.
That’s heroic work.
Let’s keep hoping for sunshine.