I woke this morning and nothing was wrong. I had a good night’s sleep. It was the weekend and I had a chilled and relaxing few days to look forward to, but still, I was feeling like something was off.
This has been happening a lot lately. And as unsettling as it is, there’s a reason for it.
Nobody warns you that healing can feel like getting benched during the third act of a psychological thriller.
When you’ve lived in survival mode, the daily adrenaline hits start to feel like your baseline. Panic? Normal. Emotional chess with people who don’t even know they’re playing? Just another Tuesday. Chaos? Comforting, in a weirdly familiar way.
Healing Starts Quietly
Then you start healing. You go to therapy. And you start catching your triggers instead of riding them like a rodeo bull. You practice boundaries. You do breathwork, and you hydrate.
And suddenly, your life gets…boring.
To many that might seem contradictory, but for people like us, it doesn’t feel safe at first.
It can feel like whiplash. You’re so used to the chaos that feeling nothing takes a lot to get used to.
Like meal-prep-and-go-to-bed-on-time boring. Or “Sorry, I don’t do drama anymore” boring. And “I noticed I was dysregulated, so I took a walk” boring.
Feeling nothing after years of so much tension doesn’t just happen overnight. Your body and mind aren’t quite sure what to do with the quiet. Your nervous system has to relearn what safety even feels like, and honestly, that process can be awkward, confusing, and yeah… sometimes downright scary.
Stillness Feels Foreign
And if you’re anything like me, the first time that stillness settles in, you don’t feel peaceful. You feel deeply, irrationally unsettled. Frustrated, even. To a nervous system wired for hypervigilance, boring can feel like something’s missing. Like you’re doing it wrong. Like you’re wasting time.
But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: healing isn’t a montage. It’s a series of quiet, unsexy choices.
Canceling of plans when you’re overwhelmed, even though part of you feels like you’re failing. It’s responding instead of reacting and having nobody notice but you. And it’s not chasing the highs or fixing other people’s messes, because regulating your own nervous system is now a full-time job.
When Peace Feels Suspicious
It’s learning that peace can be safe, even if it feels suspicious at first. And trust me, it feels suspicious.
Yeah, it’s boring. But boring is stable…. Boring is sustainable. Boring is how you finally get a life you don’t need to escape from. It means we no longer have to walk on egg shells.
If you’re curious about what healing can look like in real life, beyond the clichés, I share more in this piece: What Healing Means to Me
Don’t forget that you’re rebuilding from chaos. Replanting seeds that will eventually flourish and grow. And yeah, sometimes it’s boring as hell. It just takes some getting used to, so keep going.
Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash