I used to think being in my feelings was a weakness. Especially living with CPTSD and trauma. That if I let myself feel anything, sadness, anger, even happiness, it meant I was giving my trauma a seat at the table. Like feeling was the same as surrendering. So I armored up. Numbed out. Laughed things […]
Flashbacks: Not Always a Five-Alarm Fire
There was a time when every flashback felt like a fire drill. My body would light up like Times Square on New Year’s Eve, bright, loud, impossible to ignore. The moment something triggered, I’d bolt straight into survival mode: cancel plans, cancel people, cancel myself. No questions asked. It didn’t matter if the memory was […]
When Therapy Turns into an Emotional Excavation
When I started therapy, I thought I just needed a tune-up. I knew there were things inside me I needed to work on. What I got instead was an emotional excavation. Turns out, growing up in chaos teaches your brain some pretty creative survival strategies, hypervigilance, dissociation, people-pleasing, and the uncanny ability to anticipate everyone’s […]
Is CPTSD Considered Neurodivergent? Here’s What I Found
The other day, I fell into one of those classic spirals: trauma vs. identity crisis vs. internet rabbit hole. You know the ones. It started innocently enough, I was trying to figure out if CPTSD counts as neurodivergent. Before I knew it, I was eight tabs deep, reading about brain scans, childhood trauma, and how […]
Emotional Whiplash in a Trench Coat
Let’s talk about attachment styles, shall we? You know, those deeply ingrained survival strategies we picked up in childhood that now wreak absolute havoc on our adult relationships? Yeah. Fun times. Mine is what therapists call disorganized and what I call emotional whiplash in a trench coat. If you’re unfamiliar, disorganized attachment is what happens […]
The Truth About Healing No One Told Me
Here’s something I wish someone had told me early on, like, tattoo-it-on-my-forearm early on: Healing isn’t linear. Like, at all. I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it a hundred more times before I’m done, but that’s because it’s one of the most grounding truths I’ve learned. The sooner you realize it, […]