I see people throw around phrases. Phrases such as “If they wanted to, they would,” and it frustrates me. It frustrates me because that’s not how trauma works. When it comes to trauma, we have to remove the word “want” because nobody wants trauma, and when it rules your life, it can be quite debilitating. […]
Learning To Live With Alexithymia
On my healing journey, I discover new things every day. And when I learned I had Alexithymia, after the initial feeling of “great, another thing to contend with” because of my trauma, it actually helped me better understand what it was I was experiencing, how to better navigate emotions, and importantly, that I wasn’t an […]
Life Isn’t All Black And White
Having cPTSD often makes you look at life through a black-and-white lens, and that your trauma response to life is not just constantly assessing whether or not people are safe but also whether our environments are safe too. For a really long time, my thinking was on a black-and-white level. You either liked/loved me or […]
Healing Isn’t Linear. It’s a Process.
Healing isn’t liner. There is no straight line to it. There are ups and downs, and it ebbs and flows. It’s undoubtedly a process that necessitates patience and the determination to persevere, even on days when I feel overwhelmed and discouraged. It’s those days that I know I have to fight off the exhaustion and […]
You Better Believe I Am Good Enough
For far too long, I have felt that I wasn’t good enough. I would seek validation from others. I saw the relationship I had with another as a grading point for my worthiness, and when those relationships ended, the reinforcement I received was the same every time. That I wasn’t worthy, and that’s why I […]
Being Who I Am Is All I Can be
Being our authentic selves takes a lot of work. To understand what is truly going on in our mind and body. It’s not conditional, but instead going all in on self-acceptance. This requires making the effort to compassionately tolerate our flaws as well as celebrating our strengths. I have already written about letting go of […]