Here’s something I wish someone had told me early on, like, tattoo-it-on-my-forearm early on:

Healing isn’t linear.

Like, at all.

I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it a hundred more times before I’m done, but that’s because it’s one of the most grounding truths I’ve learned. The sooner you realize it, the better you can actually live through the healing process instead of constantly judging yourself for doing it “wrong.”

At first, I used to think healing from trauma would be like climbing a staircase. Step by step. Hit a few milestones, graduate from therapy, and maybe even throw myself a little “I’m healed!” party, balloons, cake and confetti.

But nope.

The reality, however, is quite different. Turns out healing is less like a staircase and more like walking in spirals. Or, if you’re like me, walking in circles while occasionally tripping over the same emotional furniture you swore you moved months ago.

And man, is that disorienting.

The Same Wounds Come Back Around

This is where things really messed with me. I’d feel like I was making progress, genuinely doing better. More grounded. More present. Life was actually looking good. And then boom. Suddenly I’d get hit with the same kind of pain, the same patterns, the same old storylines. And I’d think, “Seriously? I thought I was past this.”

But here’s the thing I’ve learned (the hard way, naturally):

The wounds might be familiar, but I’m not the same. I come back around with more awareness, more tools, and more strength than I had the last time.

What once knocked me over now just slows me down. What used to feel unbearable now feels…survivable.

That’s the gift of the spiral. We don’t start over. We start again, deeper.

You Haven’t Failed. You’ve Leveled Up.

Now, let me be honest. Some days, it’s frustrating as hell. I catch myself thinking, “Didn’t I already deal with this?” And yes, I did. But the version of me from five years ago? He couldn’t have handled or sat with this version of pain. Today’s me, still learning and still healing, can.

So, here’s what I want you to know if you’re in it right now, revisiting something that feels achingly familiar:

You haven’t failed. You’ve leveled up.

This isn’t backtracking. It’s revisiting an old chapter with a new perspective. And every time you do that, you rewrite the story a little.

It’s progress.

Each Return Is an Invitation

Healing is weird. It’s messy. It doesn’t unfold neatly. It loops, and doubles back. There’s zigs when you’re expecting a zag. But each time you return to a wound, it’s not a punishment. It’s not the universe testing you.

It’s an invitation.

An invitation to respond with more gentleness. More honesty. More boundaries, and more compassion for the parts of you that are still catching up.

You’re not broken for revisiting something painful. You’re brave for going back in and facing it again with new eyes.

This right here, is what growth looks like. Not perfection. Not constant upward motion. But presence. Courage. And a little more self-understanding each time around the spiral.

So no, healing isn’t linear.

But it is movement. It is growth. It is real.

It’s worth tattooing on your forearm.

And here’s the final thought to hold onto: If you keep going, you’ll start to notice the spiral leads somewhere after all.

Where ever you may be in the spiral, just remember, you are not alone.

Photo by Massimo Virgilio on Unsplash