I used to think being in my feelings was a weakness. Especially living with CPTSD and trauma. That if I let myself feel anything, sadness, anger, even happiness, it meant I was giving my trauma a seat at the table. Like feeling was the same as surrendering. So I armored up. Numbed out. Laughed things […]
Flashbacks: Not Always a Five-Alarm Fire
There was a time when every flashback felt like a fire drill. My body would light up like Times Square on New Year’s Eve, bright, loud, impossible to ignore. The moment something triggered, I’d bolt straight into survival mode: cancel plans, cancel people, cancel myself. No questions asked. It didn’t matter if the memory was […]
When Therapy Turns into an Emotional Excavation
When I started therapy, I thought I just needed a tune-up. I knew there were things inside me I needed to work on. What I got instead was an emotional excavation. Turns out, growing up in chaos teaches your brain some pretty creative survival strategies, hypervigilance, dissociation, people-pleasing, and the uncanny ability to anticipate everyone’s […]
Loving Someone with CPTSD: A Survival Guide
Loving someone with CPTSD means, first and foremost, loving someone with a complicated past. We might not always say it, but we crave connection, deeply. Sometimes more than we know what to do with. And yet, every so often, we flinch. We pull back. We get quiet when things get too close. It’s not because […]
Recognizing Trauma Dysregulation as It Happens
(aka: Is This a Red Flag, or Am I Just Spiraling?) When CPTSD turns relationships into a weather system, dysregulation is exactly when your internal forecast suddenly calls for a hurricane… all because of a missed text. Meanwhile, everyone else is just seeing a light drizzle, and you’re busy grabbing sandbags. Suddenly, you’re frozen, flooded, […]
Healing from CPTSD: When Hurt People Hurt People
There’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot: hurt people hurt people. Sometimes it’s said with compassion, sometimes as a defense, and sometimes as a throwaway line. But for me, it’s a truth I’ve had to look directly in the eye. Because I was hurting. And I hurt people. I was one of them. […]