I am starting to emerge from a dissociation episode that hit me a few days ago. The first one I have had in quite a while. During this episode, I shut down and self-isolated. I didn’t care to interact with anyone, and I just zoned out and felt really exhausted. I didn’t even want to […]
Authenticity CPTSD Emotional Resilience Mental Health Personal Growth Reflection Self-Compassion Trauma Recovery
Realizing I Have Many Lost Years
When my aunt passed away last December, I was made executor of her will and estate. Something that I felt wasn’t my place or that I should do. It wasn’t because I felt I couldn’t do it, but because I lived in another country and I knew that it would cause some issues within the […]
CPTSD Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Awareness Self-Compassion Self-Hate Self-Love Trauma Recovery
Overcoming Self-Hate: A Journey to Embrace Self-Love
I wrote about how I have reached the anger stage in grief recently. But what I didn’t realize at the time is how difficult it is for me to process one particular emotion, and that is hate. No matter how I look at things that have happened, I still can’t say I hate my abuser, but […]
Coping Strategies CPTSD Emotional Awareness Grief and Loss Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Awareness Trauma Recovery
Reaching the Anger Stage Of Grief
For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]
Acceptance CPTSD Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Awareness Self-Compassion Self-Love Self-Worth Trauma Recovery
Learning To Accept The Love I Deserve
Learning to accept the love I deserve has not been an easy task for me. I have spent years believing that I was unlovable and nobody would ever fully love me when they learned of my past. That, of course, wasn’t true, and it was again my cPTSD lying to me. To accept that you […]