For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]
Learning To Accept The Love I Deserve
Learning to accept the love I deserve has not been an easy task for me. I have spent years believing that I was unlovable and nobody would ever fully love me when they learned of my past. That, of course, wasn’t true, and it was again my cPTSD lying to me. To accept that you […]
When I Feel Emotionally Hypervigilant
My cPTSD causes me to experience a continuous and recurrent symptom known as emotional hypervigilance, and when I feel emotionally hypervigilant, it really can make me feel overly alert. My feelings seem to be on overdrive. I also seem to absorb the emotions and feelings of others around me. I know when something is off […]
Managing Rumination with Jazz and Mindfulness in cPTSD
Oh, I can’t stand ruminating! It’s one of the toughest parts of dealing with CPTSD, and trust me, there are a lot of tough parts. It feels like I’m stuck in this mindset where if I just keep replaying things in my head, I’ll eventually figure it out. Like I’ll finally gain some clarity and, […]
