For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]
Taking Responsibility For My Actions
Having CPTSD is debilitating. To be constantly at war with your mind where it makes you believe the very worst parts of yourself is something that is hard to overcome. I have been working hard on self-compassion and forgiveness. I’ve been too hard on myself for way too long, overanalyzing what I’ve done wrong in […]
When I Feel Emotionally Hypervigilant
My cPTSD causes me to experience a continuous and recurrent symptom known as emotional hypervigilance, and when I feel emotionally hypervigilant, it really can make me feel overly alert. My feelings seem to be on overdrive. I also seem to absorb the emotions and feelings of others around me. I know when something is off […]