When I walked into my first therapy session, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I honestly thought it’d be like the movies, me lying on a leather couch while some therapist with glasses scribbles notes and gently asks about my childhood, in a soothing voice that would have me opening up like […]
The Never-Ending CPTSD Checklist
Living with CPTSD is a Never-Ending Checklist Living with CPTSD, for me, is like living with a checklist that I’m constantly trying to check things off. The symptoms, the feelings, the actions. It’s like I’m carrying around this invisible clipboard. I’ll look at it and think: okay, did I manage my triggers today? Check. Did […]
NYC Grit and Healing: Living with CPTSD
The Survival Instinct of New York In New York, survival isn’t optional; it’s the baseline. If you want something here, you don’t wait politely in line; you slide into the gap before someone else does. (If you’ve ever stood on a subway platform at rush hour, you know: hesitation equals death. Or at least, a […]
Childhood Sexual Abuse CPTSD CPTSD Recovery Emotional Awareness Healing Journey Mental Health Personal Growth Self-Acceptance Therapy & Healing Trauma Recovery
Why CPTSD Makes Failure Feel Safer
Setting Myself Up To Fail When I first started therapy and learned about my CPTSD, I did one thing over and over: I set myself up to fail. My brain was on a mission to prove its own negativity right. Weirdly, failure felt safer; if it was coming anyway, at least I was in control. […]
CPTSD CPTSD Recovery Healing Journey Healing Out Loud Mental Health Personal Growth Therapy & Healing Trauma Trauma Recovery
Healing Hurts Before It Heals
The Truth No One Tells You at the Beginning In my most recent Healing Out Loud episode, I talk about something no one warns you about: healing hurts before it heals. Most people picture recovery as a peaceful climb into some serene place. But the truth? It feels more like tearing up the old floorboards […]
CPTSD CPTSD Recovery Flashbacks & Triggers Mental Health Relationships & Attachment Self-Care Trauma Triggers
When Trauma Hits Again: Living With CPTSD
Feeling “Off” For a while now, I’ve been feeling “off.” My nervous system has been stuck on high alert, and it’s been bugging me because I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing in my day-to-day life should be making me feel like this. And no matter what I tried, my breathing techniques, grounding, distracting myself, nothing […]