It’s a strange thing to find myself where I am now. For the first five years of my life, I had some sense of freedom. I was allowed to be a version of myself that never had the chance to fully develop. That version was soon overshadowed, reshaped by abuse, trauma, and the grip of […]
Healing from CPTSD: When Hurt People Hurt People
There’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot: hurt people hurt people. Sometimes it’s said with compassion, sometimes as a defense, and sometimes as a throwaway line. But for me, it’s a truth I’ve had to look directly in the eye. Because I was hurting. And I hurt people. I was one of them. […]
The Difficult Truths of Trauma Recovery
There are numerous challenges involved in recovering from trauma and CPTSD One of those difficulties is that recognizing something that heals also meant recognizing something else that hurts. For example, If I acknowledge that it was my abusers fault, then that meant there was nothing I could have done to help myself. Or If I acknowledge that I can now be the person […]
Learning To Accept The Love I Deserve
Learning to accept the love I deserve has not been an easy task for me. I have spent years believing that I was unlovable and nobody would ever fully love me when they learned of my past. That, of course, wasn’t true, and it was again my cPTSD lying to me. To accept that you […]
Taking Responsibility For My Actions
Having CPTSD is debilitating. To be constantly at war with your mind where it makes you believe the very worst parts of yourself is something that is hard to overcome. I have been working hard on self-compassion and forgiveness. I’ve been too hard on myself for way too long, overanalyzing what I’ve done wrong in […]