One of the sneakiest things about living with CPTSD or carrying trauma is how we slowly build a sky-high tolerance for emotional pain, and don’t even realize we’re doing it. It becomes second nature, like breathing. At first, we tell ourselves we’re strong, tough, resilient, and yes, all those things are true. Those words aren’t […]
I’m all for trying new things, and a few years ago I began looking into the Kadampa Meditation Center here in New York. I actually love the idea of it. Sit quietly, breathe deeply, reach enlightenment, and find your Zen. Who wouldn’t want that? However, I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be for […]
Everyone, at some point, has dealt with high-stress conflict situations, and I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling of having your nervous system hijack the moment. However, those of us who have CPTSD can experience those kinds of moments more significantly. It can become a challenge when your brain decides it’s […]
Yesterday, I time-traveled. Not in the cool, H.G. Wells, steampunk kind of way, but the CPTSD way. The no warning, no mercy, full-body flashback kind of way. The time machine? A body spray. Specifically, the Old Spice Superman limited edition. Yeah. A superhero-branded deodorant did me in. But this wasn’t about smelling fresh. This was […]
Ever have one of those days where nothing’s technically wrong, but everything just feels off? Like, you’re not sure what’s happening, but something’s misaligned, and you can’t quite put your finger on it? Yeah, that’s me today. I’m dealing with this allergy attack that came out of nowhere, like an uninvited guest at a party. […]
I was five years old when the abuse happened. That’s a sentence I still have trouble writing, let alone fully grasping, even after all this time. At five, you’re supposed to be discovering the world with wide eyes and open hands, not learning how to protect yourself from the very people meant to keep you […]
