I’m all for trying new things, and a few years ago I began looking into the Kadampa Meditation Center here in New York. I actually love the idea of it. Sit quietly, breathe deeply, reach enlightenment, and find your Zen. Who wouldn’t want that? However, I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be for […]
Staying Present When Your Nervous System Shuts Down
Everyone, at some point, has dealt with high-stress conflict situations, and I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling of having your nervous system hijack the moment. However, those of us who have CPTSD can experience those kinds of moments more significantly. It can become a challenge when your brain decides it’s […]
How a Superman Body Spray Triggered a CPTSD Flashback
Yesterday, I time-traveled. Not in the cool, H.G. Wells, steampunk kind of way, but the CPTSD way. The no warning, no mercy, full-body flashback kind of way. The time machine? A body spray. Specifically, the Old Spice Superman limited edition. Yeah. A superhero-branded deodorant did me in. But this wasn’t about smelling fresh. This was […]
Surviving the Day: Coping with Allergies and CPTSD
Ever have one of those days where nothing’s technically wrong, but everything just feels off? Like, you’re not sure what’s happening, but something’s misaligned, and you can’t quite put your finger on it? Yeah, that’s me today. I’m dealing with this allergy attack that came out of nowhere, like an uninvited guest at a party. […]
Healing Childhood Trauma: Loving the Kid I Was
I was five years old when the abuse happened. That’s a sentence I still have trouble writing, let alone fully grasping, even after all this time. At five, you’re supposed to be discovering the world with wide eyes and open hands, not learning how to protect yourself from the very people meant to keep you […]
Pausing Therapy: Embracing Growth And Trusting Myself
My therapist is retiring, and while I could start the search for someone new, I’ve decided not to, at least, not right now. So, today was my last day in therapy. After sitting with it for a while, I realized I simply don’t have it in me to start over, to retell everything from the […]