Let me start by saying something that might sound strange, I was named after the man who sexually abused me as a kid. And honestly? I never hated the name. That’s a hell of a sentence I never thought I’d be sharing at this point in my life, but here I am. That part always […]
When CPTSD and Discernment Become Tangled
For most of my life, I didn’t trust myself. Honestly, not really. I could read a room in seconds, crack a joke under pressure, or keep things calm while everything burned down behind my eyes, but ask me what I needed. Or whether someone’s behavior felt safe? I had no idea. I’d either panic and […]
The Departure Theory and CPTSD
(a.k.a., why “being left” hits like a freight train when you’ve got trauma on board) Let’s get this out of the way upfront: The Departure Theory isn’t something you’ll find in a psychology textbook. No citations, no DSM entry. But in trauma circles, especially among those of us navigating life with CPTSD, it comes up […]
Things I Thought Were Normal Until Therapy
I used to think I was just a guy with “quirks.” You know, overly cautious, emotionally avoidant, allergic to rest, suspicious of compliments, and constantly rehearsing conversations in my head like I was preparing for a deposition instead of a lunch date. Totally normal stuff… right? Turns out, no. Not really. Therapy has this sneaky […]
Trying to Heal, But Someone Hit Rewind
Let’s discuss the unexpected emotional kick to the gonads that happens when your past randomly pops up, like one of those meerkats coming up for air out of its burrow, right when you’re starting to feel the tiniest flicker of pride about how far you’ve come. Maybe someone brings it up in conversation, casually or […]
You Cannot Out Run Pain
Let’s be real honest right now. Yes, sometimes existing hurts. And I’m not talking about some ethical philosophical argument; I mean the physical and emotional hurt that is impossible to explain unless you have been there. If you have CPTSD, you know exactly what I mean. That heavy weight in your chest. The disconnect. The […]