When I walked into my first therapy session, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I honestly thought it’d be like the movies, me lying on a leather couch while some therapist with glasses scribbles notes and gently asks about my childhood, in a soothing voice that would have me opening up like a faucet had been turned on.

Yeah… not even close.

No couch. No ceiling-staring. Just me in a regular chair, feeling awkward as hell and way more exposed than I thought I’d be.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I started:

1. You Won’t Magically Feel Better After Session One

I walked out of my first session thinking, “Cool, I must’ve done this wrong because I don’t feel fixed.” The fact is therapy doesn’t work like that. It’s kind of like training for a marathon in flip-flops, you slowly swap them out for proper running shoes. Progress sneaks up on you, and most of the time, you don’t even notice it until you’ve been at it for a while.

2. You’ll Probably Want to Quit (and That’s Normal)

By my third session, I was ready to ghost my therapist. It felt like digging through emotional junk drawers I’d sealed shut for decades. If you feel like running, you’re probably right on the edge of finding something important. Lean in, even if it’s just with one shaky foot at a time.

3. You’re Allowed to Disagree with Your Therapist

I used to think therapists were like wise wizards who had all the answers. Turns out, you can say, “Nah, that doesn’t feel right,” and the world doesn’t end. Good therapy is a two-way street, not a sermon.

4. Healing Isn’t a Straight Line

One week you feel like you’ve got life figured out, the next you’re rage-cleaning the kitchen at 3 a.m. That’s not you going backward; it’s your nervous system learning how to feel safe again. Think of it as climbing a mountain with a few weird, scenic detours.

5. It Can Feel Worse Before It Feels Better

Digging up old wounds stings before it soothes. Therapy is kind of like emotional surgery; you wouldn’t expect to sprint right after getting stitches. That heavy, drained feeling after a session? Totally normal. People call it a “therapy hangover” for a reason, if you want tips for surviving it, check out this guide on beating the therapy fog.

6. Small Wins Matter

Making a phone call you’ve been avoiding. Showing up to therapy when you’d rather hide under a blanket. Catching yourself before you spiral. Those tiny wins count; they’re proof you’re moving forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

7. Humor Saves You (Trust Me)

I thought therapy had to be serious all the time. Nope. It’s okay to laugh, even about dark stuff. Humor isn’t avoiding the pain; it’s how you survive it. Some of my biggest breakthroughs came between tears and ridiculous laughter with my therapist.

If you’re just starting therapy, remember this: you don’t need to be “good” at healing. Just showing up is huge. It’s messy and uncomfortable, but one day you’ll look back and think, Holy crap, I’ve come so much further than I thought I could.

And when that day comes? Celebrate. You’ve earned every bit of it.

Ready to start your own journey? Pick a therapist, show up, and give yourself permission to be imperfect. Healing doesn’t need a script, it just needs you.

Photo by Tara Glaser on Unsplash