You’d think that after all this time, I’d be a seasoned pro at navigating CPTSD. That it’d be a cakewalk by now.

But it’s not.

Even those of us who’ve done the therapy, the shadow work, put in the time, and learned the tools that do work for us still have off days. Still get blindsided. And still feel like we’re back at square one sometimes.

The difference now?

I didn’t set up camp in those days. These after shocks, the ripples from my CPTSD don’t have the control they once did.

Grounding Tools Do Work

I don’t spiral as far or stay stuck as long. And I know what to reach for. Not to fix it instantly, because that’s not how this works, but to remind myself that this isn’t forever. I’ve lived through worse. And I know how to ground myself, even if I’m gritting my teeth while doing it.

Sometimes it’s deep breathing. Or it’s texting a friend who gets it. Sometimes it’s even just drinking some water, putting on soft clothes, and muttering “okay, okay, okay” while I hide under a blanket and wait for the chemicals in my brain to stop throwing furniture.

And sometimes, I just need to name it: “This is a CPTSD day.”

Not because I want to dwell in it, but because naming it gives me distance. It reminds me this isn’t me; it’s a part of me that’s hurting. A part that got poked.

And when I can meet that part with compassion instead of shame? That’s when the shift starts.

A Reminder for Tough Days

So if you’re having one of those days, where everything feels too loud, too fast, or just off, here’s your reminder: There isn’t anything wrong with you. You’re not back at square one. You’re just human, and something inside needed your attention. It happens to all of us.

You don’t have to fix everything today. You don’t have to push through like a machine. Just don’t abandon yourself.

Pick one small thing. One kind thing. One soft thing.

Because sometimes healing isn’t a big “aha” moment. Sometimes it’s just showing up for yourself in the storm, even if all you’re doing is breathing and whispering, “We’ve been through worse than this.” because we have.

Finding Regulation in Simple Glimmers

I received a text from my daughter this morning; it said, “School’s out for summer!” I instantly could hear her voice singing that old classic in my head, and it made me smile. It snapped me right back into the moment. That was the thing I needed to help regulate.

It doesn’t have to be some big orchestrated event. Sometimes it’s just a simple glimmer. Like my daughter’s text.

If today feels like that kind of day, where just existing takes effort, you might relate to this piece I wrote a while back. Because, yeah… some mornings really do feel like crawling through cement.

Photo by Tim Goedhart on Unsplash