For a long time, I believed that vulnerability was something to avoid. I thought it would leave me wide open to hurt and pain, and I wasn’t ready for that. But as I’ve worked on healing, I’ve come to realize something that I never fully understood before: vulnerability can actually be a source of empowerment.

It was through embracing my vulnerabilities that I started to experience deeper connections with others. When I allowed myself to be open, I discovered that acknowledging my struggles didn’t make me weak; it actually made me stronger. It gave me the courage to be real and authentic, and in turn, it brought me closer to the people who truly mattered.

Opening up takes a lot of courage. We all have stories, struggles, and triumphs that shape who we are, and sharing those with others creates space for connection and understanding. But before we can share our stories with others, we have to first hold space for our own experience, including the pain. We need to understand the weight we carry before we can expect anyone else to truly understand it. Only then can we ask someone to sit with us in that space and acknowledge what we’ve been through.

Building Real Connections

When we embrace all parts of ourselves, even the difficult ones, we create a foundation for meaningful relationships. Accepting our struggles, whether they’re from childhood trauma or everyday challenges, allows us to engage with others in a way that is genuine and authentic. It’s in this space that true connections can be made and thrive.

We all need to feel emotionally connected to others. It’s a fundamental part of being human. But trauma often builds walls around us, walls that prevent us from fully loving and being loved. Vulnerability helps us take down those walls and let in the experiences we missed out on when we were younger. It teaches us to be more open and ultimately helps us grow into better versions of ourselves.

The Dance Between Trauma and Vulnerability

The relationship between trauma and vulnerability is delicate. Trauma can cause us to put up walls to protect ourselves from pain, but it’s through vulnerability that we can begin to dismantle those barriers. In embracing our vulnerabilities, we give ourselves the chance to heal and rediscover who we truly want to be.

For those of us living with CPTSD, vulnerability can feel like a huge paradox. Healing from CPTSD requires safe relationships, and safe relationships depend on being authentic with others. But when you’ve experienced trauma, it’s hard to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. It’s a tricky dance, learning how to let go of the guards we’ve spent years putting up. But it’s also where true healing begins.

(If you’ve ever felt unsure where your trauma ends and you begin, I wrote more about that tug-of-war here: Where Does the CPTSD End and Where Do I Begin?)

Boundaries: The Key to Vulnerability

One of the most important things I’ve learned in this journey is the value of boundaries. Boundaries are what allow us to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. They create space for us to connect with others without feeling overwhelmed or threatened. When we set healthy boundaries, we’re able to protect ourselves while still inviting in the love, compassion, and connection we need to heal.

I don’t want my past to stop me from experiencing real love and connection. My childhood abuse made me believe that these things were impossible, but through healing, I’ve come to realize that they’re not. Love, connection, and compassion are not out of reach; they’re waiting for me to let down my walls and allow myself to be open.

Every day, I’m learning to trust, to set healthy boundaries, and to allow myself to be vulnerable. It’s not always easy, but the strength and growth that come with it are worth it. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage. It’s the courage to open ourselves up to the world, to love, and to connect, even when it feels scary.

A Journey of Strength and Growth

Healing is not a destination; it’s a journey. And through this journey, I’ve learned that vulnerability is not something to fear but something to embrace. It’s through vulnerability that we can begin to heal, build real connections, and become the best versions of ourselves. It takes practice, it takes courage, and it takes time. But with each step, we grow stronger, and each vulnerable moment brings us closer to the love, connection, and peace that we deserve.

Thanks for reading and walking with me on this path of healing. I hope that, wherever you are in your journey, you know that you’re not alone and that embracing your vulnerability is a powerful step towards finding peace and connection in your own life.