Learning to accept the love I deserve has not been an easy task for me. I have spent years believing that I was unlovable and nobody would ever fully love me when they learned of my past. That, of course, wasn’t true, and it was again my cPTSD lying to me. To accept that you […]
Taking Responsibility For My Actions
Having CPTSD is debilitating. To be constantly at war with your mind where it makes you believe the very worst parts of yourself is something that is hard to overcome. I have been working hard on self-compassion and forgiveness. I’ve been too hard on myself for way too long, overanalyzing what I’ve done wrong in […]
What’s Love Got To Do With It?
If you’re around my age, you probably remember that 80s classic sung by the late, great Tina Turner: “What’s love got to do with it?” Man, that song hits different when you’ve lived a little, doesn’t it? Especially that line. “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” Yeah. That’s a mood. Love […]
No Longer Scrambling To Prove My Worth
For as long as I can remember, I have spent time scrambling to prove my worth. All because my cPTSD has prevented me from feeling worthy. And what made it even harder to accept is when I really opened up and let someone in to see the real me, and for whatever reason they ended […]
When I Feel Emotionally Hypervigilant
My cPTSD causes me to experience a continuous and recurrent symptom known as emotional hypervigilance, and when I feel emotionally hypervigilant, it really can make me feel overly alert. My feelings seem to be on overdrive. I also seem to absorb the emotions and feelings of others around me. I know when something is off […]
Learning To Forgive Myself
Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I struggled. I try not to open up about these kinds of days because I believe I deserve to go through them and that the pain I succumb to is the pain I deserve. When the reality is that it’s not, and that I have to work […]