Thinking Instead of Feeling: My Lifelong Habit There’s something I’ve always done, and frustratingly still do, even with all the tools I’ve learned in therapy: I tend to think my way through emotions instead of fully feeling them. Allow me to explain. I do feel things, yes. But I have a hard time actually releasing […]
The Strengths I Gained Living with CPTSD
Living with CPTSD: The Daily Struggle Living with CPTSD can be debilitating. I have written a lot about the challenges it’s thrown my way, the many sleepless nights, the constant hypervigilance, and the emotional landmines that can appear out of nowhere. All things that can take over your life in ways you’d never imagine, and […]
CPTSD and the Struggle for True Acceptance
Why Acceptance Feels Like Everything There are many things CPTSD makes harder than they should be. For me, one of the big ones is my need to be accepted, not necessarily liked. I get that people will either like me or not. What I really want is to be accepted for who I am, and […]
Why Healing Still Hurts After All the Work
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I’ve put in the work. Not just little steps here and there, but years of therapy, really digging into the messy stuff, and a whole lot of uncomfortable growth. I’ve spent hours in therapy. Dug through emotional wreckage. Untangled beliefs that weren’t even mine. I faced parts […]
Getting to Know My IFS Parts
IFS stands for Internal Family Systems, and no, it’s not about your in-laws or your Wi-Fi setup. It’s a therapy model based on a pretty wild but surprisingly comforting idea: we’re not just one “self.” We’re a whole system of selves, or “parts,” each with its own voice, its own job, and its own emotional baggage. […]
Why CPTSD Makes Letting People In So Hard
Ever feel like you have spent a life time pushing away the person who loves you the most? Yes. Me too. That’s what this week’s Healing Out Loud podcast episode is all about: those invisible walls we build when we have CPTSD. The ones that say, “I love you, but please stay right over there […]