(aka: Is This a Red Flag, or Am I Just Spiraling?) When CPTSD turns relationships into a weather system, dysregulation is exactly when your internal forecast suddenly calls for a hurricane… all because of a missed text. Meanwhile, everyone else is just seeing a light drizzle, and you’re busy grabbing sandbags. Suddenly, you’re frozen, flooded, […]
How a Superman Body Spray Triggered a CPTSD Flashback
Yesterday, I time-traveled. Not in the cool, H.G. Wells, steampunk kind of way, but the CPTSD way. The no warning, no mercy, full-body flashback kind of way. The time machine? A body spray. Specifically, the Old Spice Superman limited edition. Yeah. A superhero-branded deodorant did me in. But this wasn’t about smelling fresh. This was […]
Living with CPTSD: What It’s Really Like
I write a lot about CPTSD, the facts, the symptoms, the definitions, and how it shows up in everyday life. And all of that matters. But lately, I’ve been thinking about how that’s only half of the picture. It’s one thing to explain what CPTSD is, but it’s another thing entirely to talk about what […]
Living with CPTSD: Rumination and Embracing Growth
I’ve talked before about how rumination shows up, especially when you’re living with CPTSD. Today, I got caught in it, stuck replaying old mistakes, old choices, things I wish more than anything I could take back. For so long, CPTSD has controlled my life. It’s not easy to admit that, in fact, it’s painful to […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]
CPTSD Dysregulation Emotional Awareness Hypervigilance Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Trauma Recovery
When I Feel Emotionally Hypervigilant
My cPTSD causes me to experience a continuous and recurrent symptom known as emotional hypervigilance, and when I feel emotionally hypervigilant, it really can make me feel overly alert. My feelings seem to be on overdrive. I also seem to absorb the emotions and feelings of others around me. I know when something is off […]