Recently, I wrote about the time I tried meditation, and how my CPTSD added a whole extra layer of “what fresh hell is this?” to the experience. Today I’m about to take you on a journey into the steaming pile of self-improvement and self-torture, also known as hot yoga. Yes, you heard that right. Hot […]
How Trauma Builds Tolerance for Emotional Pain
One of the sneakiest things about living with CPTSD or carrying trauma is how we slowly build a sky-high tolerance for emotional pain, and don’t even realize we’re doing it. It becomes second nature, like breathing. At first, we tell ourselves we’re strong, tough, resilient, and yes, all those things are true. Those words aren’t […]
Meditation with CPTSD: More Chaos Than Calm, But I Tried
I’m all for trying new things, and a few years ago I began looking into the Kadampa Meditation Center here in New York. I actually love the idea of it. Sit quietly, breathe deeply, reach enlightenment, and find your Zen. Who wouldn’t want that? However, I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be for […]
Staying Present When Your Nervous System Shuts Down
Everyone, at some point, has dealt with high-stress conflict situations, and I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling of having your nervous system hijack the moment. However, those of us who have CPTSD can experience those kinds of moments more significantly. It can become a challenge when your brain decides it’s […]
How a Superman Body Spray Triggered a CPTSD Flashback
Yesterday, I time-traveled. Not in the cool, H.G. Wells, steampunk kind of way, but the CPTSD way. The no warning, no mercy, full-body flashback kind of way. The time machine? A body spray. Specifically, the Old Spice Superman limited edition. Yeah. A superhero-branded deodorant did me in. But this wasn’t about smelling fresh. This was […]
Surviving the Day: Coping with Allergies and CPTSD
Ever have one of those days where nothing’s technically wrong, but everything just feels off? Like, you’re not sure what’s happening, but something’s misaligned, and you can’t quite put your finger on it? Yeah, that’s me today. I’m dealing with this allergy attack that came out of nowhere, like an uninvited guest at a party. […]
