I am starting to emerge from a dissociation episode that hit me a few days ago. The first one I have had in quite a while. During this episode, I shut down and self-isolated. I didn’t care to interact with anyone, and I just zoned out and felt really exhausted. I didn’t even want to […]
Authenticity CPTSD Emotional Resilience Mental Health Personal Growth Reflection Self-Compassion Trauma Recovery
Realizing I Have Many Lost Years
When my aunt passed away last December, I was made executor of her will and estate. Something that I felt wasn’t my place or that I should do. It wasn’t because I felt I couldn’t do it, but because I lived in another country and I knew that it would cause some issues within the […]
CPTSD Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Awareness Self-Compassion Self-Hate Self-Love Trauma Recovery
Overcoming Self-Hate: A Journey to Embrace Self-Love
I wrote about how I have reached the anger stage in grief recently. But what I didn’t realize at the time is how difficult it is for me to process one particular emotion, and that is hate. No matter how I look at things that have happened, I still can’t say I hate my abuser, but […]
Coping Strategies CPTSD Emotional Awareness Grief and Loss Healing Journey Mental Health Mindfulness Personal Growth Self-Awareness Trauma Recovery
Reaching the Anger Stage Of Grief
For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Another Year Around The Sun
Today marks another year around the sun for me, and you would think by now that I would be used to this day, but I’m not. In fact, I dread my birthday, and it is a day that I don’t look forward to at all. It’s not just a matter of aging and recognizing I […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]