There are numerous challenges involved in recovering from trauma and CPTSD One of those difficulties is that recognizing something that heals also meant recognizing something else that hurts. For example, If I acknowledge that it was my abusers fault, then that meant there was nothing I could have done to help myself. Or If I acknowledge that I can now be the person […]
CPTSD and Dopamine: Why We Chase the Feel-Good Hit
The relationship between CPTSD and dopamine is complicated. Those of us who experienced childhood trauma missed out on so much, including the opportunity to experience safety, affection, and those natural feel-good moments without immediately wondering when something would go wrong. For us, the simple act of praise from a parent could even make us cautious. […]
The Exhaustion From healing Is Very Real
I recently wrote about what the impact of leaving survival mode means. How it signifies a shift towards healing and a more balanced and fulfilling life, allowing us to prioritize our mental well-being and work on our end goal of healing from trauma. What I didn’t go into detail about is how tired it makes […]
The Impact Of Leaving Survival Mode
For 40 years, I lived in constant survival mode, running on fear, stuck in fight-or-flight, exhausted but pushing forward anyway. I had no idea I was running myself into the ground. I thought I was just doing what I had to do to exist. Then, about a decade ago, I began therapy, and I started […]
Learning To Love Myself For Who I Am
For many years, I believed deep down that I was unworthy of love, and that no one could ever truly accept me for who I was. I engaged in unhealthy behaviors to prove this belief to myself. I felt undeserving of love, particularly because of my history of childhood abuse. In my mind, there was […]
Why Self-Validation Matters After Childhood Trauma
Growing up with abuse and never being able to ask for help, the idea of speaking up felt completely foreign. I had nobody to turn to, and deep down, I didn’t think I’d be believed. For 40 years, I carried that secret. Looking back, desperation seemed to be the theme of my formative years. Desperate […]