Trust issues and CPTSD go together like peas and carrots. And it’s not because we’re naturally suspicious people; it’s because life taught us that trusting people is risky business. When you’ve been betrayed, neglected, or manipulated over and over, your brain learns that trust equals danger.

When Your Body Doesn’t Get the Memo

The problem is, even when you meet good people, your body doesn’t get the memo. Your brain and all its logic might be saying, “Hey, they seem kind. They’ve shown up. And they’re safe.” But your nervous system is still on red alert, scanning for the tiniest sign of danger. It could be as simple as a pause before they answer, a shift in their tone, or a change in their routine. You end up reacting to ghosts from the past instead of the actual person in front of you. And that’s the mind-bending part: you can want to trust them and still feel your guard shoot up for no obvious reason.

Your Body Remembers

You can “forgive” or tell yourself this person hasn’t done anything wrong, but your nervous system still reacts like they’re about to pull the rug out.

Vulnerability Feels Scary

Even little things, like asking for help or saying how you feel, can feel terrifying and like you are walking into enemy territory with no armor.

Hypervigilance

You catch every micro-change in someone’s tone, face, or text response time. Sometimes you might even push them away just to see if they’ll prove you right.

All or Nothing

You either trust someone instantly and completely, or you keep them at arm’s length forever. Is it possible to slowly build trust? Yeah, it’s hard.

You Stop Trusting Yourself

After being gaslit or betrayed, you don’t just doubt others; you doubt your own judgment, too.

Healing it is a slow grind:

• Start with you. Keep small promises to yourself.
• Let people earn it over time.
• Check if your “danger” feeling is real or just old pain talking.
• If you can, work through it with therapy (IFS, EMDR, and somatic work are all good tools).

The bottom line. Trust isn’t about flipping a switch and everything is automatically okay. It’s about feeling safe enough to open the door a little, see what happens, and remind yourself you can shut it again if you need to.

Remember, healing takes patience and time. Everyone’s journey is different, so be gentle with yourself.

Photo by Rex Roberts on Unsplash