I keep being reminded of this phrase. The only way out is through, and the more I am reminded of it, the more relevant it has become in my healing. After all, healing is a journey, and we should never stop moving. I spent many years not feeling things. That any time I would meet […]
What Healing Means To Me
After receiving my cPTSD diagnosis a few years ago, it took me a very long time to realize that there wasn’t a serious issue with me. that I was not defective. I had to have it drilled into me that having cPTSD didn’t mean I wasn’t coping, instead it meant as a child, I continually […]
Realizing I Have Many Lost Years
When my aunt passed away last December, I was made executor of her will and estate. Something that I felt wasn’t my place or that I should do. It wasn’t because I felt I couldn’t do it, but because I lived in another country and I knew that it would cause some issues within the […]
Overcoming Self-Hate: A Journey to Embrace Self-Love
I wrote about how I have reached the anger stage in grief recently. But what I didn’t realize at the time is how difficult it is for me to process one particular emotion, and that is hate. No matter how I look at things that have happened, I still can’t say I hate my abuser, but […]
Reaching the Anger Stage Of Grief
For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
Showing No Emotion Was A Survival Tool
Individuals who have experienced trauma and have cPTSD are often told that they lack empathy. Which isn’t the case at all. At least not for me. I think I’m capable of great empathy, but if I’m not in a good place or stressed out, I cut it off completely and go into no-emotion-survival mode. And […]