Setting Myself Up To Fail When I first started therapy and learned about my CPTSD, I did one thing over and over: I set myself up to fail. My brain was on a mission to prove its own negativity right. Weirdly, failure felt safer; if it was coming anyway, at least I was in control. […]
Healing Hurts Before It Heals
The Truth No One Tells You at the Beginning In my most recent Healing Out Loud episode, I talk about something no one warns you about: healing hurts before it heals. Most people picture recovery as a peaceful climb into some serene place. But the truth? It feels more like tearing up the old floorboards […]
When Trauma Hits Again: Living With CPTSD
Feeling “Off” For a while now, I’ve been feeling “off.” My nervous system has been stuck on high alert, and it’s been bugging me because I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing in my day-to-day life should be making me feel like this. And no matter what I tried, my breathing techniques, grounding, distracting myself, nothing […]
Breaking Free from Emotional Control
Thinking Instead of Feeling: My Lifelong Habit There’s something I’ve always done, and frustratingly still do, even with all the tools I’ve learned in therapy: I tend to think my way through emotions instead of fully feeling them. Allow me to explain. I do feel things, yes. But I have a hard time actually releasing […]
Why CPTSD Makes Trusting Others Tough
Trust issues and CPTSD go together like peas and carrots. And it’s not because we’re naturally suspicious people; it’s because life taught us that trusting people is risky business. When you’ve been betrayed, neglected, or manipulated over and over, your brain learns that trust equals danger. When Your Body Doesn’t Get the Memo The problem […]
The Strengths I Gained Living with CPTSD
Living with CPTSD: The Daily Struggle Living with CPTSD can be debilitating. I have written a lot about the challenges it’s thrown my way, the many sleepless nights, the constant hypervigilance, and the emotional landmines that can appear out of nowhere. All things that can take over your life in ways you’d never imagine, and […]