For most of my life, I didn’t trust myself. Honestly, not really. I could read a room in seconds, crack a joke under pressure, or keep things calm while everything burned down behind my eyes, but ask me what I needed. Or whether someone’s behavior felt safe? I had no idea. I’d either panic and […]
The Departure Theory and CPTSD
(a.k.a., why “being left” hits like a freight train when you’ve got trauma on board) Let’s get this out of the way upfront: The Departure Theory isn’t something you’ll find in a psychology textbook. No citations, no DSM entry. But in trauma circles, especially among those of us navigating life with CPTSD, it comes up […]
Things I Thought Were Normal Until Therapy
I used to think I was just a guy with “quirks.” You know, overly cautious, emotionally avoidant, allergic to rest, suspicious of compliments, and constantly rehearsing conversations in my head like I was preparing for a deposition instead of a lunch date. Totally normal stuff… right? Turns out, no. Not really. Therapy has this sneaky […]
Trying to Heal, But Someone Hit Rewind
Let’s discuss the unexpected emotional kick to the gonads that happens when your past randomly pops up, like one of those meerkats coming up for air out of its burrow, right when you’re starting to feel the tiniest flicker of pride about how far you’ve come. Maybe someone brings it up in conversation, casually or […]
You Cannot Out Run Pain
Let’s be real honest right now. Yes, sometimes existing hurts. And I’m not talking about some ethical philosophical argument; I mean the physical and emotional hurt that is impossible to explain unless you have been there. If you have CPTSD, you know exactly what I mean. That heavy weight in your chest. The disconnect. The […]
Tips On What to Do When CPTSD Hits Hard
You’d think that after all this time, I’d be a seasoned pro at navigating CPTSD. That it’d be a cakewalk by now. But it’s not. Even those of us who’ve done the therapy, the shadow work, put in the time, and learned the tools that do work for us still have off days. Still get […]