Having cPTSD often makes you look at life through a black-and-white lens, and that your trauma response to life is not just constantly assessing whether or not people are safe but also whether our environments are safe too. For a really long time, my thinking was on a black-and-white level. You either liked/loved me or […]
I’m Sensitive and That’s Okay
Things we do to protect ourselves make it harder for other people to get close. Something that I am pro at. Putting up walls and downplaying anything I felt. But it turns out, as I am slowly going through a personal transition, that I am a lot more sensitive than I realized. And perhaps deep […]
Realizing I Have Many Lost Years
When my aunt passed away last December, I was made executor of her will and estate. Something that I felt wasn’t my place or that I should do. It wasn’t because I felt I couldn’t do it, but because I lived in another country and I knew that it would cause some issues within the […]
Reaching the Anger Stage Of Grief
For all of my life, I have feared being loved. Being accepted. I have felt jaded. Lost. Ashamed. Hurt. There are so many different words that can be used to express the magnitude of the pain I have carried around with me. To reach a point in your life where you know you are truly […]
When I Feel Emotionally Hypervigilant
My cPTSD causes me to experience a continuous and recurrent symptom known as emotional hypervigilance, and when I feel emotionally hypervigilant, it really can make me feel overly alert. My feelings seem to be on overdrive. I also seem to absorb the emotions and feelings of others around me. I know when something is off […]