There’s something I’ve come to realize on this healing journey: no matter what stage we’re in, we’re always learning. Even when we think we’ve finally figured it all out, guess what? We probably haven’t. And that’s not a failure. It’s just part of the process.

Take me, for example. I’ve been feeling a bit anxious the past few days, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I had a really good weekend with my daughter. Life was calm, nothing major happened. But there was still this weight in my chest, like something was quietly tugging at me from underneath the surface.

It wasn’t until my weekly therapy session that something clicked. The only thing I could trace it back to was a random ad I saw for Old Spice and Brute cologne. Just a couple of scents. I probably looked at it for two minutes, tops. But those smells? They’re tied to my childhood and my abuser. And apparently, they still hit hard, even after all this time.

That’s the thing about CPTSD. It’s complex for a reason.

Even though I know I’m safe now, my nervous system doesn’t always get the memo. My body learned long ago to be on constant alert, and it doesn’t just forget that because my life looks different today. So yeah, I can still get antsy. I can still struggle to relax. I can have moments where I feel like I’m waiting for something bad to happen, even when there’s no actual threat around.

I thought I had moved past certain triggers. I really did. But seeing that ad reminded me that just because something hasn’t come up in a while doesn’t mean it’s gone. That cologne was enough to throw my whole system out of whack. I didn’t realize it right away, though. I just carried on with my day, not noticing how a sense of unease was slowly creeping in. My mood shifted. I started overanalyzing everything. I focused on trying to figure out why I felt off instead of just feeling it.

I forgot the things I’ve learned in therapy. I forgot to pause. To breathe. To regulate.

That’s the tricky part. Knowing your triggers doesn’t automatically make them disappear. Just like knowing you’re hungry doesn’t feed you, it just tells you what you need to do next. Healing works the same way. It takes action. Intention. And patience.

Using the skills and tools we learn in therapy is crucial

And when I remember that, I also remember the tools I do have. Grounding exercises that bring me back to the present. Practices that let me feel without judging myself for it. Reminders that trauma lives in the body, and the only way out is through.

CPTSD might be wired into my nervous system, but that doesn’t mean I’m powerless. The more I do the work, the more manageable it becomes. It’s not something I can just “get over,” but I’m not where I used to be, and that matters. A lot.

So yeah, I got triggered this week. But I also recognized it. I named it. I talked about it. And I came back to my tools. That’s progress.

If you’re on this healing path too, I just want to say: be gentle with yourself. Triggers might still show up. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. Keep practicing. Keep showing up. You’re doing better than you think.