I was asked to write a letter to my younger self in therapy this week, and I have spent some time thinking of what to write. It turned out to be a lot more difficult than I thought it would be, but I eventually came up with this.
Hey, Younger Me,
I know things feel rough right now, like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It probably feels like nothing is going to get better anytime soon, but I need you to remember something: you’re so much stronger than you realize. The stuff you’re going through might feel like it’s going to break you, but it won’t define you forever. I know it’s hard to see right now, but trust me, this is just a moment in time. It’s not your whole story.
You’ve faced some tough stuff, stuff no one should ever have to go through. I see how you’re struggling to figure it all out, and I want you to know it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling, even if it’s confusion or anger or sadness. All of it is valid, and you don’t have to hide it or pretend like everything is fine when it’s not. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s okay to not be okay.
I know there’s a part of you that wants to pull away from everyone, to just hide and pretend things are better than they feel. But listen to me, you’re worthy of support, and asking for it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you brave. I promise, the days when you think you’re making no progress? You are. Every little step counts. Even the moments when it feels impossible, waking up every everyday, and that fake smile you carry? It’s allowing you to still show up. You matter. Remember that. The world is better with you in it.
Things feel heavy right now, and maybe nothing looks the way you hoped it would. But I promise, you’re going to get through this, even if it’s messy, even if it takes time. Healing isn’t some straight line. Some days you’ll feel like you’re making progress, and the next day it might feel like you’ve taken two steps back. That’s okay. And even on the days you feel like you can’t keep going… you will. You have this quiet strength inside you, more than you even realize.
It will take time, but you’ll start to believe in yourself too. You’ll build a life that feels soft and kind. not just toward others, but toward yourself. You’ll look back and see how far you’ve come, and you’ll be so proud of the person you’re becoming.
You’ve got this. And you’re not alone, even when it feels like it. Remember, you’re not broken. None of this is your fault. Healing is coming, and with it, a version of yourself that’s going to be so much more than you could ever imagine right now.
Go easy on yourself. You’re doing better than you think, and I’m so proud of you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you are stronger than you know.
With all the love I’ve got,
Your Older (but still learning) Self
Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash